Yeah, it happens. I’m only human after all. I have prejudices, biases, and knee-jerk reactions just like the next human.
Fortunately, I don’t normally verbalize them. Most of my judgments are kept pretty close to my chest. Because I know myself. I know how I am. I allow myself room to change my mind. If I were to speak, or to write, my biases out for everyone to see or hear, it would be much harder to change my mind. I would be roped into my own bleak world. I would have to fight against the friends I had made who shared that prejudice…which causes drama.
I hate drama.
So I have learned something valuable, and that is to keep these thoughts to myself, for the most part. I’m sure one or two has snuck out over the years…but nothing earth-shattering. Nothing that has rounded up vile snark attacks around me.
That doesn’t mean that I didn’t think these thoughts, or that an apology is not in order.
So let me apologize…right now to all my friends who are Godspouses. Because at first I thought you were all completely out of your minds.
Let me set the stage a bit.
For two years prior to starting this blog, I was completely disconnected from the “pagan scene.” For five years prior to that I was active in real life, but not on the internet at all. Prior to that…I haunted many, many, many chat rooms and email groups involving paganism but most of them were at that point very Wicca-centered.
So it was an eye-opening experience, to say the least, when I started floating around various blogs based on the “pagan” tag and found all these Godspouses. It was something foreign, and new, and just…well, weird.
I was confused. It seemed there were so many Godspouses out there. So…very…many…and many predominantly wives of Loki. There are others, of course, but the Lokeans seem to be the most vocal on the blogs, at least.
Some of them were, honestly, bat-shit crazy. But there were others…and are others…who are so very much together that if I hadn’t read that they were Godspouses, they would seem incredibly normal. Not just normal…which for pagans is pretty damn rare right there…but together, educated, well-read, and even wise. Many of you know your shit. You don’t rely completely on UPG although you bandy it about quite a bit. But that’s not the end of it. You know your lore, the mythology in which you live, better than many a recon.
Color me surprised.
So I faced down my initial reaction. I had to confront a prejudice, stare it down, and beat it into submission. Because it was wrong. Plain, old wrong.
Some of the battle came about in a discussion with a good friend, some of it with myself (as I often argue with myself), and some with discussion with my Peeps. I’m gonna lump all this talking into one conversation for ease of reading. It went something like this:
These Godspouses are nutburgers.
Not all of them. You didn’t even realize some of them were Godspouses when you originally began reading their blogs.
Yeah, but they’re all about UPG. I’m up to my ears with freakin’ UPG. No one ever checks their UPG, they just run with it. I think they’re just pulling shit out of their asses.
You do the same thing.
Yeah, but I check my UPG against my Traditions and verify it with my Spirits.
These guys know what they’re talking about. Look…she’s quoted the Edda and he’s quoting all sorts of ancient manuscripts. They’ve done their research.
Well, some of them have. I’ll give you that. But they have sex with their spirits.
Not all of them. Besides, there’s…
That doesn’t count. He’s not a deity.
But what exactly is a deity?
Fine. Still…it’s weird.
There’s lots of documentation that this sort of thing happened. The mythology is full of humans mating with deities…and you know that mounting does happen…and could happen in sexual ways. Remember what your friend said about…
Ok. So there’s some basis to the whole sex thing. It’s just…well, weird.
And you’re not?
Ouch. But it’s not like I sit on the couch with Eleggua cuddling…
No, but he wanted to watch television. Remember? And you’re supposed to take him for walks around so he knows the area he’s in and all that. He likes to get out once in a while. None of these guys are carrying a cement head around. Think about what they must think of that…
Yeah, I suppose. Still, they consider themselves “married.” I mean…in the myths, the gods had sex with humans but I don’t remember many tales of marriage. Except for ones that didn’t end well, that is…
You’re married to an Orisha. You’ve had your Cofa. That makes you a wife of Orula.
I forgot about that. So I’m a Godspouse too then…
Yeah, and you’re supposed to be getting married to a Lwa soon, too…
*sigh* You’re right. I’m wrong. Fine.
So…even though I don’t think I ever said anything offensive publicly…I feel in my heart that I must publicly apologize for these thoughts and prejudices. Because they were…and are…wrong.
I am truly and utterly sorry. I am sorry if I did ever say anything rude or inconsiderate about Godspouses. Not just because I have realized I am one (and have been for a few years now) or am about to become one (gotta get the ring first, lol) but because it’s just plain wrong to judge someone on a knee-jerk reaction.
Sure there are a lot of lunatics claiming to be Godspouses. But then, there’s a lot of lunatics on the Internet period. Crazy people everywhere…in every religion. There are always going to be attention whores on the Internet because it’s such an excellent place to get attention. And it’s easy to pretend on the internet. You can be anyone at all…
Hell, I could be lying…
But that’s not the point. I can’t paint the intelligent, kind, well-read and educated Godspouses with the same brush of judgment I use on the whack-jobs and nutburgers.
If…like me…you’ve been standing apart and passing judgment on people’s paths without all the facts…just give them another look. Look into yourself, stare down your prejudices, and give them all a chance. Yes, you will find crazies…but they’re pretty easy to weed out. There’s some excellent people out there who just happen to be Godspouses.
And to all my Godspouse friends…from the bottom of my heart…
I am sorry.