I Don’t Wanna!!!

…and you can’t make me, so there! Don’t know why, but all day I’ve been in a mood. One of those deep-blue funks. Not black…I’ve not been in a bad mood. Just a bit rebellious, perhaps. Fifty gazillion topics I want to write about here…so many I’ve actually started a list…and I’m just not in the mood to write…for the blog or for the book.

I don’t know exactly where this mood came from. I was in a worse mood if anything yesterday. That was brought on by a domestic dispute–couldn’t call it a fight–the night prior to that. I went to bed still in a bad mood. Which, of course, meant that I woke up in a bad mood, something my husband doesn’t understand. He has to “sleep it off,” basically leaving arguments before they’re settled, and wakes up bright as a daisy in the morning. Nope. Doesn’t work that way for me.

So Sunday I was in a black funk, as black as they come. I knew it, though, and so was a little less prone to biting my husband’s head off with no good reason. I held myself back, kept my headphones on, took a nap. By the end of Sunday I was feeling better.

Why the blue meanies today, I wonder? Well, regardless of the reason behind it, there was no way I was going to get much in the way of creative work done. The topics are there…I’ve several on reserve to write about later. I kept a list. I started, more than three times, to write on one of the topics, but I was incoherent, blathering and…well, just plain stupid. Even now, I’m tempted to trash this one and start over. It’s not going where I thought it would or where I wanted it to.

But then if I don’t wanna, no one’s going to make me, let alone me. So maybe I’d just better let this post stay short and sweet. I’ll just have to attack again on another day when I’m feeling more…motivated. Creativity can’t be forced, can’t be beaten out of you.

I’m going to go kill some brain cells on video games instead.


About Camylleon

I don't need gurus, and sure don't want to be one. I'm not here to buy stuff or to sell it. I am just another spiritual wanderer, trying to figure it all out. My blend? A little Santeria, a little Polytheism, a little Spiritism and shake gently. Comments are closed...because I detest drama. I'm not completely anti-social though. If you've got questions, shoot me a email. Camylleon at hotmail dot com...
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