Of Patience, Impatience and Daily Posting

I give up. At least on the daily posting thing. Not because I couldn’t do it, but because I’d rather submit quality than quantity. The posting that I’ve been doing, well that I enjoy doing at any rate, has been deep and insightful. At least to me, it has. I’d like to keep it that way. So although I’m more than adequately able to post complete and utter nonsense simply to post something, it doesn’t amuse me nearly enough to pursue it. I mean, the two posts I did essentially on why I didn’t want to post or didn’t post at all were silly and irrelevant to my life.

That doesn’t mean I won’t post daily. I might, but I’m allowing myself the choice not to. Or to post twice if I so feel the need. I’ve felt that urge before and restrained myself. I figure most of my extremely appreciated dedicated readers wouldn’t really want to read more than one blather in a day, even if I thought it was amusing. I guess this site has the option of writing things in advance and letting the site release it daily…which I might get into the habit of as well. Might be nice if I paced the postings.

I am new to all this, and I thank all of you for bearing with me as I find my feet. It’s been fascinating. I watch my site stats almost obsessively, seeing who’s subscribed, who’s surfed from where, what kind of strange Google searches pull my humble little blog up. It’s fun to see which posts get the most hits, and which ones are completely ignored by friend and stranger alike. Maybe I’m weird. Okay, it’s likely that I’m weird. I enjoy it.

So I know if you’ve been here…mwuahahaha…go ahead and comment. It can’t hurt! ūüėÄ

My last post about the pendulum pictures made me realize something else about myself. I have no patience. Oh, sometimes I have more than enough patience. I get rather obsessive-compulsive about things, in fact. If you look at my hobbies…they’re quite detailed, and involve a lot of patience.

Every now and then, however, I want something now. That’s what happened with those pictures. Although I could certainly wait for the hubby to come home and find the correct cord for the digital camera…or dig out the old 35 mm, run out to get film, get the photos developed and scan them…or wait until I see my graphically-blessed friend who would gladly help me with either her better digital camera or at least taking the pics with my pathetic little Mp3 player…did I do any of the above? No. Because I wanted it done NOW. That was the post I wanted to get out. Silly me.

It was the same story with these notebooks I’ve been working on. One for the runes (which I’m learning), one for Tarot (which I know well, but I’m always eager to know other people’s perspective on the art), one for “recipes,” etc. I’ve been hand-writing these with my quill pen…less because someone told me to than because I really, really love working with the quill pen. Again, needs a lot of patience. HOWEVER, when one of my favorite nibs decided to die a horrible death, was I patient enough¬†to replace it later? NO. I had to go get more RIGHT NOW. There were some designs in a book I wanted to copy into one of my books, but I needed a protractor, a ruler¬†and a compass to get them right. My hubby has all of the above IN QUANTITIES somewhere in the extra room where all his crap is still in boxes (Manufacturing Engineering master…he’s got all kinds of gizmos like that from college). Did I want to wait until he found them? Heck, no! I ran right out to the grocery store and got cheap ones to make due with. Meaning I spent unnecessary money on inadequate tools just so I could do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it.

It’s a weakness. If something’s not just right…just perfect, I need to fix it right away.

My personal motto with weaknesses is…that when you find something about yourself that you don’t like, you have two choices. Accept it and love yourself anyway, or change it and move on.

Yeah, I know I should change it. But I think for now I’m just going to accept it and love¬† myself anyway.


About Camylleon

I don't need gurus, and sure don't want to be one. I'm not here to buy stuff or to sell it. I am just another spiritual wanderer, trying to figure it all out. My blend? A little Santeria, a little Polytheism, a little Spiritism and shake gently. Comments are closed...because I detest drama. I'm not completely anti-social though. If you've got questions, shoot me a email. Camylleon at hotmail dot com...
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