And not because I’ve been lying. My nose hasn’t actually gotten bigger although it does seem that way. I’m more annoyed with the fact that my chin looks larger than the size of my nose, to be honest. I’ve always felt that my chin was slightly too pronounced to begin with. The first change I noticed in my face was truthfully that my eyes seemed larger…which I know is impossible. The eyes don’t change size at all. Ever.
What the hell am I talking about? Weight loss. I never really thought about there being a change in my face, but there is. Of course there is. My mom always used to say that yuor hands and feet never gain weight, but that’s a myth as well. I haven’t noticed any changes at all in the size of my feet, but then with the swelling it would be hard for me to notice that. My fingers, however…the wedding ring that used to be too tight no longer is, and there’s a couple of rings that were roomy that I’ve had to change fingers with in order to wear at all.
Since I don’t have a scale at home, and my vehicle is semi-permanently out of commission (there is no point at all in fixing a transmission on a 1991 Buick. Seriously.), I have really no access to a scale. I’m sticking to the plan…well, for the most part at least. The last two weeks with Thanskgiving and then my family’s holiday party…and now this weekend hubby’s family’s first holiday party…I’m being better than usual at the holidays, but I’m not being very strict with myself. There will be time for that in January. Everyone deserves a vacation now and then. As long as I don’t stray too far…and I do tend to look at it in terms of choices. I had stuffing at Thanksgiving…but only a tiny taste of mashed potatoes and I skipped the roll altogether. *shrug* It wasn’t perfect, but as I said, better. In the past it would have been a giant mound of each…and then seconds.
But I digress. Without a scale, I can’t logically measure my success or failure. Which is both good and bad. Everyone needs the reassurance, the proof that what they’re doing has a point. I mean…Great Gods…why would I be going through this if I wasn’t getting any better, right???? On the other hand, I’ve known people who were far too reliant on what the scale had to say. They sometimes became obsessed with the numbers, and sometimes became depressed by the numbers. I have no numbers.
Which leaves me looking for other forms of evidence. The facial changes was one piece of evidence. Something that I noticed, but it wasn’t objective so I had a hard time buying it at first.
But it is true. I’m sure of it now.
I received more concrete proof at the holiday party last Saturday. I have a winter coat…a men’s camoflage coat that is beat up and worn out. It also smells drastically like cigarette smoke. So although it is most most comfy throw-on and run out the door coat…I knew I’d hear flak about it both from my mother and from my husband. Hubby because of the smell…mom because of the complete lack of style. So I dug the “nice coat” out of the closet.
Let me explain this coat now. I received it about…4 maybe 5 years ago. Its supposed to be what they call a “swing coat,” which is probably a real bad fashion idea for anyone who’s big to begin with. I really need my stomach to look larger, right? Yeah. The first year I got this coat from my mom, it really was a swing coat. The next year, or maybe the year after, it fit maybe a little too snugly, and had a lot less “swing.” Competely depressing, right? *shrug* I only dig the blasted thing out maybe once or twice a year, for winter holiday gatherings so I don’t disappoint my mom. (I sound like I’m 21 or something, here, don’t I? I guess you never grow out of these things…*sigh* Sorry if I’ve just brought anyone down! Mom is still mom…no matter how old you are!) Ok, so it was easy enough to throw it in the closet and forget about it. I didn’t let it get to me.
Last holiday, I noticed it actually “swung” a little bit. I was happy. Most of that came about less from diet and more from exercise. Going from a 2 bedroom apartment to a 4 bedroom house with basement…gave me a lot more to do. Yes, housework can be exercise! Lol. There was a minor diet change as it was 2 years ago this coming March that I gave up fast food altogether…so I did lose a few pounds from that as well, I’m sure. (You really don’t want to know how often I was at McDonald’s before that. It’s truly humiliating when I think of it now!)
When I got it out and put it on this year? Not only was there pronounced “swing,” but…it was too big in the shoulders!?! I’d say its at least six inches or more two wide in the shoulders. It hangs on me. That was a good feeling.
Mom always gives me clothes for the holidays, which is fabulous. I’ve long since gotten her trained as to what my tastes are (we have vastly different tastes. I jokingly refer to that horrible orange/turquoise/pink/yellow/green plaid combination as her family tartan!), so I look forward to it a lot. I don’t even really buy myself clothes very often any more. Well, I don’t really need that much in new clothes as I’m currently unemployed. Anyway, she enjoys buying them, and I enjoy not buying them so we both win.
However…She bought me two outfits. Knowing I was working hard on the health issues, and seeing some of the changes herself, she intentionally bought the clothes a size smaller this year than last. The two skirts were alright…but the two shirts we have to send back. They were too big. Strange thing that, because I generally like oversized shirts. The last thing in the world I want is some tight (or “fitted” shirt as they’re usually referred to) clinging to my bulging stomach. Thanks but no.
I do think that generally speaking, I’m losing weight faster on the top half than the bottom. Which sucks. Because I have that “pouch” over my abdomen which is the number one thing I’d love to see go away. It would figure, right? Ah well, I’ll take what I can get here.
Of course the whole point of this weight control game is to take back my health. So the question remains…is it worth it? Do I feel better?
I don’t feel any great increase of energy that so many people taut as a major reason to take the pounds off. The sugar levels seem to have leveled off. I’ve gotten a couple of readings under 100…which is pre-diabetic…which makes me happy, and that was the primary goal of all these life style changes.
The important thing, which is barely discernable, and I wasn’t even sure it was really happening…and had to wait and check a few times to make sure it was…is that the back half of my right foot feels normal. Not all day; just when I first get up in the morning. The toes of my right food and my entire left foot still have the same electrical tingling problem. But if I’ve reversed it in the back half of my right foot, my hopes are that the front half of the right foot or the back half of the left foot will be next, and that it will just be a matter of time, exercise, and continued weight loss/blood sugar management/blood pressure management, before my feet are back to normal completely.
In other words, I now have hope. So…yes, it’s all been worth it.